One of the best things a Leader can have is a staff that tells the truth. Typical meetings end, and then there is a second meeting at the watercooler where staff openly discusses about how they really feel. Besides being a colossal waste of time, it is simply unproductive. Teams cannot move forward until this issue is resolved.
I have a few Rules of Engagement that we use at meetings. None of these are new concepts. However, as a Leader, it is your job to encourage your employees to have conflicting opinions. Author Patrick Lencioni calls it “mining for conflict.” Staff need to feel safe to disagree with anyone. They need to be able to have a whacky question, opposite point of view, or simply disagree.
Our Rules of Engagement:
Just Say It
I see this all the time - a staff member making a strange face that shows they want to say something, but instead are silent. Then after the meeting they come find me and tell me what they wanted to say.
As a way to encourage people to just say it, I have started saying, “Tara, you look like you have something to say.” After years of practice, I now say “Tara, just say it.” We require 100% truth with 100% respect. We give staff permission to disagree. Time is valuable. We all have a lot to do. Let’s not waste time not talking through issues that have conflicting opinions. We cannot make progress without truth.
“Disagree without Drawing Blood”
This is a quote from author Bill Hybels. I like it a lot. As Leaders, we need to make it known that we expect there will be times when we disagree. In fact, we want to hear all opinions. We can get “passionate” about our opinion and that’s just fine. But, we will not harm our relationships by getting personal, calling names, making statement like “you always say that”, and otherwise are disrespectful But when that happens, deal with it immediately.
Here are some fast tips to not drawing blood:
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100% truth with 100% respect
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Do not interrupt
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Do not have more than one conversation at a time (a huge pet peeve of mine)
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We will not be late to a meeting or leave early in order to avoid a tough conversation
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We will really listen to our coworkers ideas
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We will not use disrespectful body language (ex: rolling eyes, hands on head in dramatic fashion, slamming shoe on table to get attention)
Deliver the Bad News Fast
A “heads up” goes a long way. Let the Leader of your organization help you come up with a solution to your issue. You may be thinking that this is exactly opposite advice as those who advocate for coming to your boss with a solution in hand. Some say that not having a solution is not doing your job. I disagree. I especially think it is wrong for employees to get outside advice (maybe from outside counsel) without the Leader knowing about it. The bigger the problem, the faster the “head’s up” needs to occur.
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